Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Al Kawthar Academy (Leicester, U.K.) in Need of Your Donations

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullah,

The following was posted on regarding Shaykh Riyadh ul Haq's project/Institute and the financial problems facing Al Kawthar Academy (Leicester, U.K.)


Assalaamu 'Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuhu

I pray everyone is in the best of health and emaan and their exams are going well.

Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq set up the Al Kawthar Academy in Leicester a few years ago to serve as a place to hold gatherings and organise the da'wah and talks which take place. The building in Leicester is literally an old factory and is very simple but Alhamdulillah has served its purpose. It was purchased through qardha hasana and most of these were for 2 years. 2 years is now up an the Academy is in serious financial difficulties.

Every Friday night, Sheikh does a dars of the summarised Sahih al-Bukhari in English, something which has never been done before, all of which are broadcasted on the PalTalk. However, the situation has got so bad that the dars has not taken place for 2 weeks now. The amount of material Sheikh has produced is just phenomenal. Each dars of Bukhari is available on the website; to buy as a cassette or download as an mp3, in addition to the the other lectures. This totals a number in the region of 350!! It is so sad and so unbelievable that the situation has to come to this, that world renown and respected 'ulema are not able to hold duroos due to people's neglect.

Alhamdulillah we as Muslims never suffer from donor fatigue, but however we sometimes neglect the projects and services, for want of a better word, that we use. And I'm not suggesting for a second that we ignore our Ummah around the world. Subhanallah give to both! Shaytaan threatens us with poverty by making us believe charity decreases wealth. I'm sure many ppl can vouch when I say that you can feel the barakah in your money afterwards when you donate to charities.

We all know the benefits of giving in charity but a reminder never goes amiss, my dear brothers and sisters:

"The parable of those who spend their property in the way of Allah is as the parable of a grain growing seven ears (with) a hundred grains in every ear; and Allah multiplies for whom He chooses; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing." (Surah Baqarah 261)

As we all know well, Allah 'azza wa jall tests us in many different ways, but these tests can be opportunities to gain ajr. Inshallah this is one such opportunity. Allah swt does not tire of rewarding us nor are His rewards to us limited, we would sooner tire of asking and performing good deeds.

I'm willing to bet (figure of speech) that most ppl here have benefitted in some way from Sheikh Riyadh, if you were at the talk last year then you will have Inshallah! Subhanallah the least we owe to our 'ulema is to allow them to be able to disseminate their 'ilm, which in this case is through financial assistance.

One practical way we can all help is by setting up a standing order for £10 a month, which even for us students won't break the bank. Think of how quickly we spend £10 normally, subhanallah. Allah 'azza wa jall prefers the small but consistent good deeds to the bigger, infrequent ones. And if you can afford more then please do so, and if you can't afford £10 then Alhamdulillah please give what you can. You can donate online using PayPal here:

I apologise my brothers and sisters for this lengthy e-mail but the situation is urgent.

May Allah reward you for your intentions and strengthen you in emaan and grant you success in the akhirah and this dunya. I humbly request you make du'a for the maghfirah of the whole ummah including myself and of course the Al Kawthar Academy.

Wassalaamu 'Alaikum, wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuhu

Your brother in Islam,




Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Tips For a Happy & Successful Marriage


Ten ways of increasing happiness in your marriage and making it a successful one

The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.

Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often

Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.

Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam

Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.

Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations

Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.

Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse

Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (Muslim)

Be Your Mate's Best Friend
Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.

Spend Quality Time Together

It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.

Express Feelings Often

This is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything.

Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness

Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage.

Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past

It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.

Surprise Each Other at Times

This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage.

Have a Sense of Humour

This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.

Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements:

Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution.

Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking.

Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected.

Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate.

Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.

If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.

Source: Dr. Aisha Hamdan -

(May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala grant us all the tawfeeq. Ameen.)